100 Avengers One-Shots Based on Random Selections from the Dictionary
by JediDragonRider22
Summary: Pretty much what the title sounds like: I choose a random word from the dictionary and write a one-shot. Maybe some OCs, maybe not. Basically whatever I feel like. Feel free to recommend anything. I may or may not take your suggestion. I hope this ends up fun for all of us (: Enjoy! Don't forget to review!
1. Potato

**_Hello to all my readers! Thank you for clicking on this story. I hope you enjoy. My goal is to put up at least two chapters a week when I am not busy. Let's see how long it takes to break 100! Please review and tell me what you think. Unfortunately, I cannot take suggestions because that would ruin the "randomly selected from the dictionary" part of this fanfic._**

* * *

 _ **Here you go!**_

 ** _Potato_** _(n): an oval vegetable with starchy white or yellow flesh and a brown skin, that grows underground as a tuber_

Most people consider the Avengers' lives to be all action, never boring, a new excitement around every corner. That's just not true.

It was four months after the Battle of New York and the Avengers were lying around the Tower, with nothing to do. In fact, they had had nothing to do for quite a while.

Steve paused the TV halfway through another rerun of _Full House._

"Do you guys hear that?"

The others nodded when the whistling started again.

After a minute of searching, Steve, Tony, and Natasha found Clint in the kitchen. He turned to greet them as they entered, then turned back to his work, whistling the main theme to _Superman._

"Clint, what are you doing?" Steve asked as the archer removed a bag of potatoes from the bottom cabinet.

"Mashing potatoes. Want to help?"

"Why are you mashing potatoes?"

"Um, I don't know. Why have you been watching old shows 24/7 all week?"

"I've actually never seen _Full House_ until today."

"Whatever floats your boat."

Tony pushed past Steve into the kitchen. "I, personally, would like to mash potatoes."

"I thought you were working on your robotic arm thing, whatever it is."

"Nah, it broke, and then I fixed it, and then it broke again. Why do you think I was watching a show I hated as a kid?"

Steve just shook his head and left.

"I'm gonna go check on Banner," Natasha said, following after Steve, leaving just Clint, Tony, and the bag of potatoes alone in the kitchen.

* * *

Half an hour later half the potatoes were peeled, cut, and boiled, ready to mash.

"I never realized how much work making mashed potatoes is." Tony commented as Clint searched for a second potato masher.

"No one ever does." He replied, opening another drawer and looking through the contents.

"Sorry, it looks like we only have one masher."

"No, no, no. I did not peel a dozen potatoes and cut my finger just to watch you have all the fun. I'm mashing."

"Tony, if I hadn't suggested it, we wouldn't even have made mashed potatoes. I appreciate the help, but I'm mashing them,

"No, I am."

"I already called it."

"No, you didn't."

"Did."

"What are you, five? You can't 'call' something."

"You both are acting like children, you know that right," Natasha rhetorically asked from the next room over, where she was playing, of all things, go fish, with Bruce.

"She's right," Clint agreed. "We'll take turns."

After arguing over who got the first turn, Tony grabbed the potato masher from Clint's hand and began mashing the large bowl of potatoes. It turned out to be harder than it looked. After three minutes, Tony handed the masher back to Clint.

"Done already?"

"No, I thought it would be nice to let you have a turn," Tony denied.

"Whatever you say."

"Hey, I'm not a wimp like you."

"Oh, really? That's why you can't mash potatoes without giving up?"

"I didn't give up! I was being nice!"

"Excuses, excuses!"

Tony picked up a handful of half-mashed potato and threw it at Clint.

"Hey!"

Clint returned the favor.

"You asked for it!" Tony cried as he grabbed two more fistfuls.

Unfortunately for him, Clint beat him to the punch. Even more unfortunately, he had impeccable aim. A blob of potato flew at Tony's open mouth.

"Does it taste good?" Clint joked as potato flew at his head. He ducked but not in time to miss round two.

Before they knew it, there was no potato in the bowl and lots of it all over their face, in their hair, and smashed on the ground. The kitchen was a disaster.

It was in this way that Pepper found them a minute later.

"What on earth!?"

"Pepper, I can explain." Tony started. "…It was Clint's fault."

Clint made a look of defense. "No, he started it!"

"You were the one who…"

Pepper started laughing. She then proceeded to pick up a blob of potato on the floor and hurl it at Tony.

"Not you too!"

"Potato!"

* * *

 ** _So there you are! One down… Ninety-nine to go. Please review / favorite / follow! Thanks in advance!_**


	2. Disappear

**_Sorry for the long wait. I've been busy, as usual. Before I start, I just want to thank all my readers, and especially those of you who spent the time to write a review. Thank you, thank you, thank you!_**

 ** _Alright, let's get on with the story._**

* * *

 _ **2\. Disappear** (v): 1. to cease to be seen; vanish from sight __2\. to cease to or be known; pass away; end gradually_ _3\. to vanish under suspicious circumstances_

Natasha Romanoff poured herself another drink. Another long night awaited her anyway.

It had been four days since Clint had gone missing. He had spent three nights in the Avengers tower, and one day they all woke up and he was just gone.

They called his cell, his wife, looked all over the city, tracked phone records, but it was no use. He had just... disappeared.

Fury had assignments for the rest of the team, so Natasha got to find him. She had gone through everything she could think of, and had come to a horrible conclusion when she turned up empty.

He had been kidnapped.

Now she was just trying to figure out who would want to take the archer. It made sense to take Tony or herself, but why Clint, specifically?

Natasha finished off her drink and left the empty glass on the counter before making her way over to Barton's temporary room: one he should still be in. Everything was in place. The bed was even made. All of Clint's stuff was gone too. That's why she originally figured he had just left early. He had been assigned already. A visit with Fury made certain that wasn't true. He hadn't gone home. He had abandoned his assignment.

That wasn't Clint. He wouldn't do that. She just couldn't figure out why, if he had been kidnapped, the kidnapper had made such a big deal about all his stuff.

And then she saw it, clear as day, sitting on the side table. How had she not seen it before? It was a playing card,...

the ace of hearts.

* * *

"Agent Barton's disappearance was no card trick," Natasha fumed to Fury the next morning. Natasha had decided to get a few hours of much-needed sleep after she found the card, but she was up bright and early to complain to the Director.

"I never said it was. But the other Avengers are busy at the moment."

"You have no idea who took one of your _best_ agents, but you think that an intelligence mission is more important than getting him back. We have _no_ idea what we're up against. All we have is-"

"A playing card. That could have come from anywhere."

"Right, I always leave a card lying around for no reason. Anything's possible, I suppose."

"Natasha, I'm not trying to argue with you, but I cannot uproot the Avengers from their mission. You're on your own until they get back. You're welcome to bring along some of the new agents."

"Because that's exactly what I need. I don't have time to babysit, Director."

* * *

Natasha sat on her bed, staring at the card in front of her.

The oddities around Clint's disappearance were piling up. His kidnapper took him and all his stuff, leaving behind a perfectly clean room, and also leaving a single playing card. Just how much of a psychopath was this guy, whoever he was?

And then it hit her. It wasn't a he. I was a she.

Celeste.

Natasha groaned. She hadn't gone up against her in a long time, and the last time hadn't been pretty.

* * *

She stormed into Fury's office.

"Director, Agent Barton was abducted by a Russian assassin; I knew her from the Red Room. Her name's Celeste Ananyev. She knew I would figure out it was her. She always played with blue Bicycle cards, and she always used to slip an extra ace in her boot. She knows I'll be after her, which means she has a price, and Barton's not safe until either we pay it or she's captured or killed."

"And what is her price?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Ok, so you figured out our kidnapper. If she wants a ransom, she'll have to contact us. It shouldn't be hard to track her from there."

"Director, you don't know Celeste. Trust me, she knows how to cover her tracks."

"Yes, but it will give us a place to start. Let me know when she makes contact."

"I don't know if we have the time to wait."

"Any other ideas?"

"Well, two, so far. I don't know if either of them will work, but until I talk with Celeste, it's worth a shot."

"Ok. And by the way, Stark and Rogers are coming back tomorrow morning."

* * *

"The Red Room operates under various aliases depending on where they're working from and what their goal is. They hide in plain sight, but they're nearly impossible to track because they don't stay in one place for long. However, if they're in the middle of an op, it's a lot harder to pack up and move. If you know what to look for, it's only a matter of hacking into their servers and if we're lucky, finding the hold location. Unfortunately, the Red Room never shares all their secrets. The information we need will only be in two places, one on their backup servers in Russia, at their main headquarters, which is not hidden, might I add, because they are not afraid of losing anything there. They have at least a hundred trained assassins constantly on their guard. The only other place we might find it will be the exact location of the business name they're hiding under for this particular op. Unfortunately, that could be anywhere across the country, if we're lucky, and if we're not, anywhere in the world. They data need not be with the kidnapper, so, she could be on the other side of the planet from the intel."

"Well, that's a great note to start on," Tony Stark stated flatly after Natasha finished her thought.

"ANd to add to it, we don't even know for sure that Celeste is working with the Red Room on this. It could be independent, in which case, we're a lot more hopeless. We'll have to go about this as a missing persons case, which will require a lot more work, a lot more digging through records and paperwork, and a lot more effort on our part. If this is the case, we're better off waiting for her to contact us, and hope for a lead."

"So we _want_ her to be working for an internationally infamous band of assassins?" Stark asked.

"It would make it easier to find him. It would also make it a hell of a lot harder to actually get back."

"Great. Well, let's get to it then." Steve Rogers pitched in from the corner.

"Let's get to it."

* * *

 ** _Ok, so I know I said one-shots, but this is technically going to be a two-shot because the next word I chose fits with this one. Stay tuned for the second part! Follow/Fav/Review!_**

 ** _Thanks in advance._**


	3. Search

**_Part two of this two-shot! Enjoy!_**

 ** _Thanks again to all of you who read my stories!_**

* * *

 ** _3\. Search_** _(v): 1. to_ _go or look through (a place, area, etc.) carefully in order to find something missing or lost 2. to explore or examine in order to discover; t_ o _look at or beneath the superficial aspects of to discover a motive,reaction, feeling, basic truth, etc. OR (n): 1. act of searching; careful examination or investigation 2. the act or process of electronically retrieving data_

After eight tireless hours of searching,Tony came up with a possible lead

"The bakery on 23rd?" Natasha questioned. "No, that place has been around for ages. Besides, that is literally the worst place to hide a group from the Red Room."

"They probably think so too. That's why it's such a great place to hide. Also, the bakery went under 'new management' less than two weeks ago."

"Well, let's check it out."

"Attempting to hack into their servers... now." Tony pressed the shift key and lines and lines of green type flooded his computer screen.

"I'm in."

"Good. Find anything unusual?"

"Hold on. I've only had access for a few seconds. Let me run a program on the data."

"Well, hurry up about it. Barton's been gone over 5 days now."

"Yeah, about that?" Steve began. "Why hasn't she contacted us by now?"

"I don't know."

Tony looked up from his work. "I think I do." His frown deepened.

"What is it?"

"Well, that bakery is definitely a cover up for something. Do you see all these?" He pointed to lists of random letters and numbers.

"Yeah, what does it mean."

"It'll take a bit to decode it completely, but..."

"Tony? What's wrong?"

"I can't be sure, but... they're taking him to Russia."

"Are you sure?"

"Did I not just say I wasn't sure?"

Natasha had turned pale.

"Our mission... they warned us... surely they should have come after me. I- I can't believe... they took him. But, it was supposed to be me. It was supposed to be me."

"Natasha, what do you know?"

"When Clint was sent to kill me, but didn't. He changed me. I- I gave up my life in Russia. It wasn't for me. They, my instructors, my classmates... Celeste... said they would take their revenge; they would eliminate me, in time. But they took Barton... They didn't take him for a ransom. They're going to kill him."

* * *

They left for Russia half an hour later. After consulting Fury, they devised somewhat of a plan. They had to get Agent Barton before he made it to the Russian headquarters. Otherwise, it would take more than the Avengers to get him back. If they intercepted them in time, it would be an easy op.

The only problem was, they still didn't know what route they were taking, only the destination.

"I don't mean to be negative, but Barton's on a trip to his death and you're all just sitting around," Natasha said, an edge to her voice.

"Excuse me, but what exactly are you doing?" She had just stopped pacing the room.

"Thinking."

"So are we."

Natasha sighed. They were getting anywhere, and they didn't even know if Barton had already arrived in Russia. Because of the illegal nature of what Celeste was doing, it may take a while, but they were running out of time.

Fast.

"There can't be that many ways to get there. We may as well start close and fan out. It's better than doing nothing." Natasha broke the silence again

"Alright. When do we leave." That was from Steve

"An hour. That's all you have to get your gear and all the time I need to get a jet. I'll meet you then."

* * *

An hour later, as planned, the three Avengers boarded a quin-jet. It had a stealth mode and could fly for long distances, so it was perfect for their mission, not to mention the most readily available.

The ride was long and boring, making it all the more easy for them all to stress over the severity of their mission. If they didn't succeed, they'd be one man short for all their missions to come. Clint was their friend and they couldn't afford to lose him, for more than one reason.

They arrived just outside the closest town to headquarters. Tony landed the quin-jet out of sight, along a line of trees.

After a short walk into town, they checked into a hotel and found their rooms. It was a start. Now they needed to figure out a real plan.

* * *

Natasha lay on her back ad tried not to stress out. It had been six hours since they got here and so far, nothing: no new ideas, no leads, no clues. Their patrol on the base had come up empty too.

He wasn't there yet, and that was her only comfort. He was still alive, but they were down to the hours... there was _no_ time left.

And they were still empty handed.

She propped herself up and started to put on her running shoes. She needed to do something, get her mind off things, but maybe think of something anyway.

She pulled on a sweater and headed out the door.

"Going somewhere?" Steve asked. He was just about to go into his own room.

"Yeah, I thought I'd go for a run."

"Mind if I join you?"

"No. It's fine."

Steve matched her stride and they left together.

It took only a few minutes for Natasha to realize how fast Steve was. Eventually, they both slowed down to a walking pace.

"Do you do this every night at eleven pm?" Steve asked jokingly.

"Only the ones after I find out my friend was captured by a Russian assassin I trained with."

Steve smiled. "How well did you know Celeste."

"Oh, we were recruited at the same time, but then we-" and then she saw her. She pulled Steve into an alley and ducked behind a pile of boxes.

"What is it?" Steve whispered. They were so close, he could feel Natasha's heart beating wildly.

"It's Celeste. She's here. About four blocks down from here by now."

"What do we do?"

"Should we fight her? What if she has backup?"

"Nat, Clint's life is at stake. This is our chance. And we have surprise on our side."

She nodded. They took a better position to attack.

It wasn't hard between the two of them to take down Celeste, especially after they figured out no one else was with her. She fought her best but was no match for the Widow and the Captain. She was knocked out and her hands were tied before she could really even figure out what was going on.

* * *

"Where's Barton?" Natasha snarled after waking up Celeste with a bucket of ice water.

"Cut it out will you?" the now drenched assassin replied.

"Where. Is. Barton?"

Celeste laughed. "And why would I tell you."

"Because there's nothing else you can do. We win."

"I'll never help you."

Natasha wasn't frustrated. If there was anything more important to Celeste than a mission, it was herself. Nat pulled a knife out and held it to her throat.

"Tell me, or I'll kill you. And I have no problem in doing so. I'll find Barton with or without you, but I'd rather not have to deal with a mess."

"Alright, fine." Celeste growled. "I'll tell you."

"Good."

* * *

They found Barton tied up and drugged in the same hotel they were staying in. He had only been a few doors down all day.

After they waited a few hours for the drugs to wear off, Clint was able to tell them everything, in his usual sarcastic manner. Even after an attempt on his life, he was still his usual self.

It was good to have him back.

* * *

 _ **Please tell me what you think in the reviews! Follow / Fave if you want more so I know you guys like it!**_

 _ **Thanks in advance!**_


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